This is my personal story about my mantra.
It happend years ago. There were some great tragedies in my life and I was lost in this world. I understood I have to do something to begin to live normally and went to psychologist, than to magician, than to New Age followers. These last helped me a lot.
But after these experiences I understood I have to look for the Wisdom in Hinduism, because all "specialists" I knew in that time used parts of Wisdom that came from that Teaching (my knowleges about were just enough to understand it).
I began to read texts.
In one of the books I saw a mantra. There were different mantras in that book, but I saw THIS mantra. I read it, but had a feeling, to miss something .
I had so great wish to learn it good, that I went in ILTK for Teachings.
I asked all nuns about it, and was very decided but disperate after 2-3 days there, because nobody wanted to help me, and I can't learn this mantra...
I did not know many things about this system at that time...
At the end, they helped me and I, happy, repeated my mantra using new buyed mala all 10 hours I needed to turn home.
Years passed, and I received real transmission of my mantra too. But I think the real transmission was my wish, my intention, my desire. I feel something special for this mantra, I have a special relationship with it.
But...
I looked for the Teaching that answers my questions and found it. I asked about this mantra the Teacher... and he said me, it's not from this lineage.
I wanted to follow every word of the Teacher and abandoned my mantra.
And was unhappy. Sometimes I wanted to repeat it, but stopped myself. And was unhappy.
Till some days ago, when footiam
wrote me this link about mantras Steps to Mantra Meditation. I read there: Once a mantra is chosen, it should NEVER be changed, however much you may like to. ... Be warned that this is a mistake and will result in complications at higher levels in your spiritual journey.
I turned back to my mantra and that day was our great feast. We were happy to reunite. I don't say "I", because it was a reciprocal joy.
Believe or not believe.
I am glad to hear that the link that I sent you helps. While it's good to seek out teachers to help us,I do think that we still need to evaluate whatever they say. Charlatans abound. I can see you are well-read and most probably you know more things than the people you seek out. I do sincerely think that we cannot simply allow a teacher to decide for us. As long as we are comfortable doing something and it does not harm others, that would be the right path.
ReplyDeleteNo, the Teacher I write is a great Teacher and a great Yogi. But he is from the old school and tibetan Lama are generally very strong in this sense, as I know. We, modern persons, have not possibilities to study so as it was years ago.
ReplyDeleteI feel necessity to follow the spiritual way and I do my best. The most important is Intention.